Marriage from an Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church Perspective: Part IV- Divorce and Remarriage

 

Marriage is a divine covenant established by God, and the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church (EOTC) preserves its profound sanctity. It is a sacred union meant to reflect God’s eternal love, built on faith, trust, and spiritual companionship. Yet, in a fallen world, human weakness and life’s trials can threaten this holy bond, leading to separation or divorce. The EOTC teaches that marriage is intended to be lifelong, encouraging couples to seek God’s grace and reconciliation in difficult times. However, the Church, in its wisdom and compassion, acknowledges that certain grave circumstances may necessitate divorce, offering biblical guidance and spiritual solutions for troubled marriages. This essay explores the EOTC's perspective on divorce, the biblical grounds for separation, and remarriage, and the spiritual path to healing and renewal, all firmly grounded in Holy Scripture and the teachings of the Church.

1. The Sanctity ( ቅድስና ) of Marriage

Marriage is a sacred bond established by God for companionship, love, and spiritual growth.

In Matthew 19:6, the Scripture states, "ስለዚህ አንድ ሥጋ ናቸው እንጂ ወደ ፊት ሁለት አይደሉም። እግዚአብሔር ያጣመረውን እንግዲህ ሰው አይለየው።" This emphasizes that no one, not even parents, should interfere between a married couple. If disagreements arise, parents are called to encourage reconciliation and offer wise counsel, rather than advocating for divorce out of personal interest. Many marriages suffer due to family interference, so couples should be mindful of this from the beginning.

In the EOTC, marriage is considered permanent, meaning couples must strive to remain together in faith and love. Divorce is permitted only in extreme cases where the marriage covenant is irreparably broken.

2. Biblical Grounds for Divorce in the EOTC

While the Church does not encourage divorce, it acknowledges that certain circumstances may make it necessary.

The following situations may necessitate divorce:

a)     Adultery (ዝሙት) and Marital Unfaithfulness: In Matthew 19:9, Christ permits divorce in cases of sexual immorality: "እኔ ግን እላችኋለሁ፥ ያለ ዝሙት ምክንያት ሚስቱን ፈትቶ ሌላዪቱን የሚያገባ ሁሉ ያመነዝራል፥ የተፈታችውንም የሚያገባ ያመነዝራል አላቸው።" (Matthew 19:9)

Adultery is a serious sin that breaks the sacred bond of marriage. The guilty party should repent and seek forgiveness. If reconciliation is not possible, the Church may permit divorce.

The innocent spouse may seek divorce, but it must be based on verified facts, not on rumors or suspicion. Care should be taken to avoid rash decisions, as gossip can harm the marriage. Trust and mutual respect are the foundation of marriage, and unnecessary doubt should be avoided. If the adulterous spouse repents, seeks forgiveness, and both spouses agree to live together, they may continue their marriage. However, if they do not agree, divorce may still occur.

b) Physical and Life-Threatening Abuse: The Church supports the dignity of every individual. When a spouse faces serious domestic violence or life-threatening danger, and the abuser refuses to change after counsel from the spiritual fathers, the Church permits separation to preserve life. This is in line with the biblical principle of protecting life: "You shall not murder" (Exodus 20:13), emphasizing the sanctity of life. As stated in ፍትሐ ነገሥት አንቀጽ 24 ቀጥር 956, the Church supports measures to safeguard the well-being of the individual when all efforts at reconciliation fail.

c)     Health Problems: If a spouse has a reproductive health issue that makes marital life impossible, and both parties do not agree to continue living together, they are not obligated to continue the marriage, as one of the fundamental purposes of marriage is compromised. However, if both parties choose to remain together, they are permitted to do so.

d)    Apostasy (Loss of Faith): If one of the spouses leaves the faith and adopts another faith, and after being advised and cannot return to the faith, the spouse who remains faithful may choose to dissolve the marriage. However, if the one who has left returns to the faith, seeks forgiveness, and the other spouse is willing to forgive, the marriage may continue.

It is important to note that the unity of a couple is strengthened through the children they bear, as they are a shared blessing that draws them closer together. Couples should honor their marriage, keeping in mind the importance of raising their beloved children together.

For couples unable to have children due to infertility, it is essential to embrace God's plan, trusting that His will is for their good. They should refrain from complaining about His design. Even if a child is born, it may face challenges or illness unless blessed by God. They should not view this as a curse, for the fullness of God's wisdom is beyond their understanding, and His plans may not always align with human expectations. Everything God does is for a greater purpose. Furthermore, couples should understand that the spouse they have received as a gift from God holds greater importance than any unborn child, who is still unknown to them. The Scripture states: “እግዚአብሔርንም ለሚወዱት እንደ አሳቡም ለተጠሩት ነገር ሁሉ ለበጎ እንዲደረግ እናውቃለን።” (Romans 8:28).

3. The Process of Divorce in the EOTC

Divorce in the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church (EOTC) is not solely a personal decision; it is a process mediated by the Church. 

The process includes the following steps:

1.     Seek the guidance of their spiritual father or priest for counsel and the possibility of reconciliation.

2.     Participate in mediation and counseling aimed at restoring peace and harmony within the marriage.

3.     Divorce will only be considered after all efforts at reconciliation have been exhausted, under the guidance of the Church.

4. Remarriage After Divorce

The Church permits remarriage under specific conditions, as outlined below:

1.      For Those Widowed (Death of a Spouse): When a spouse passes away, the surviving partner is permitted to remarry. However, the new marriage must be with someone of the same faith, who desires union through the Holy Eucharist. This permission is supported by Scripture, as stated in Romans 7:2:

 “ያገባች ሴት ባልዋ በሕይወት ሲኖር ከእርሱ ጋር በሕግ ታስራለችና፤ ባልዋ ቢሞት ግን ስለ ባል ከሆነው ሕግ ተፈትታለች። ስለዚህ ባልዋ በሕይወት ሳለ ለሌላ ወንድ ብትሆን አመንዝራ ትባላለች፤ ባልዋ ቢሞት ግን ከሕጉ አርነት ወጥታለችና ለሌላ ወንድ ብትሆን አመንዝራ አይደለችም።” (Romans 7:2).  Similarly, 1 Corinthians 7:39 further affirms this allowance, stating: “ሴት ባልዋ በሕይወት ሳለ የታሰረች ናት፤ ባልዋ ቢሞት ግን በጌታ ይሁን እንጂ የወደደችውን ልታገባ ነጻነት አላት።”

2.     For the Innocent Party in Adultery (ዝሙት) and Other Permitted Divorce Cases: If a spouse divorces due to adultery or any other grounds recognized by the Church as valid for divorce, the innocent party is permitted to remarry. Similar to the case of widowhood, the remarriage must be with someone of the same faith, who desires to be united through the Holy Eucharist.

5. Preventing Divorce: Strengthening Marriages

The following practices are vital for fostering healthy marriages and preventing divorce:

a) Commitment to God’s Commandments

A strong marriage is built on faith and obedience to God’s commandments. When both spouses center their relationship on Christ, they cultivate patience, forgiveness, and selfless love—virtues essential for a lasting union. By keeping God’s word at the heart of their marriage, couples create a spiritual foundation that withstands trials and prevents separation. The Bible states: “እግዚአብሔርን የሚፈሩት ሁሉ፥ በመንገዶቹም የሚሄዱ ምስጉኖች ናቸው። የድካምህንም ፍሬ ትመገባለህ፤ ምስጉን ነህ መልካምም ይሆንልሃል። ሚስትህ በቤትህ እልፍኝ ውስጥ እንደሚያፈራ ወይን ናት፤ ልጆችህ በማዕድህ ዙሪያ እንደ ወይራ ቡቃያ ናቸው። እነሆ፥ እግዚአብሔርን የሚፈራ ሰው እንዲህ ይባረካል።” (Psalms 128 : 1- 4)

b) Seeking the Church’s Blessings

The Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church (EOTC) teaches that a blessed marriage flourishes through frequent prayer, sincere confession, and regular participation in the Holy Communion.

c) Effective Communication

Foster open, honest, and respectful dialogue to prevent misunderstandings and resolve conflicts with love and patience. The scripture says: “ለእያንዳንዱ እንዴት እንድትመልሱ እንደሚገባችሁ ታውቁ ዘንድ ንግግራችሁ ሁልጊዜ፥ በጨው እንደ ተቀመመ፥ በጸጋ ይሁን።” (Colossians 4:6). Likewise, Ephesians 4:29 teaches: “ለሚሰሙት ጸጋን ይሰጥ ዘንድ፥ እንደሚያስፈልግ ለማነጽ የሚጠቅም ማናቸውም በጎ ቃል እንጂ ክፉ ቃል ከአፋችሁ ከቶ አይውጣ።” Let every word spoken build up and offer grace to those who hear it.

d) Fidelity (ታማኝነት) and Trust

Avoid temptations (ፈተናዎችን) and remain faithful to your spouse. The Bible teaches, “መጋባት በሁሉ ዘንድ ክቡር መኝታውም ንጹሕ ይሁን፤ ሴሰኞችንና አመንዝሮችን ግን እግዚአብሔር ይፈርድባቸዋል” (Hebrews 13:4). Staying devoted to one another builds a bond of trust and love that reflects God’s design for marriage.

Trust your spouse and avoid unnecessary suspicion (ጥርጣሬ). Unless there is clear evidence of wrongdoing, constant monitoring can harm the relationship. Most marital suspicions arise from delusion—false beliefs, overgeneralization—jumping to conclusions without evidence, and emotional reasoning—assuming feelings are facts. The key is to ask yourself: Do I have real evidence for my suspicions? A healthy marriage thrives on trust, patience, and open communication.

e) Support During Difficulties

Spouses are called to support each other in times of hardship, sharing in each other's burdens.  The Scripture reminds us, “ከእናንተ እያንዳንዱ የአንዱን ሸክም ይሸከም እንዲሁም የክርስቶስን ሕግ ፈጽሙ።” (Galatians 6:2). This highlights the importance of mutual support and fulfilling Christ's law of love.

By applying the practices outlined above, with God’s help, divorce can be avoided. To explore more on how to build a lasting marriage, review this essay: https://tewahedoperspective.blogspot.com/2025/02/marriage-from-ethiopian-orthodox_11.html.

What should those who married outside the Church do?

Those who married outside the two sacramental orders of the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church—the Order of the Crown (ሥርዓተ ተክሊል) or the Order of the Eucharist (ሥርዓተ ቍርባን)—should seek the Church’s blessing and regularization of their marriage.

The process includes the following steps:

·       Consult a Priest (Spiritual Father): First, approach a priest to understand the necessary steps for the Church to recognize your marriage.

·       Confession and Repentance: Since marriage outside these sacred sacraments is not considered valid by the Church, repentance and confession are essential before receiving the sacrament.

·       Spiritual Guidance: Couples should seek continuous guidance from their spiritual father to strengthen their marriage in faith and commitment.

·       Receive the Blessings and Sacrament Prepared by the Church: Finally, they will undergo the appropriate sacramental order and receive the Church's blessings for their marriage.

This path not only regularizes the marriage but also brings the couple into full communion with the faith, fostering a life of spiritual harmony and grace.

Conclusion

In the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church, marriage is a holy covenant blessed by God, designed to unite two souls in love and faith. While the Church strongly discourages divorce, recognizing its profound spiritual and emotional duty, it offers compassionate guidance when marriages face irreparable challenges. Through prayer, repentance, and the counsel of spiritual fathers, couples are encouraged to seek reconciliation whenever possible, remembering that forgiveness and grace are at the heart of Christian life. Yet, when divorce becomes inevitable, the Church provides a path of healing and, when permitted, the possibility of remarriage in accordance with biblical and canonical teachings. Ultimately, the sanctity of marriage is preserved not through the absence of hardship but through the enduring presence of God’s love, binding spouses together in faith, hope, and charity. As couples honor this sacred bond, they bear witness to the divine mystery of Christ’s love for His Church—a love that conquers all and endures forever.

 

Marriage from an Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church Perspective: Part III- Post-Marriage Life

 

In the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church, marriage is a sacred covenant that mirrors the union between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:32). It is a lifelong commitment grounded in love, faith, and obedience to God's commandments. The journey of married life, however, is not without its challenges, which require wisdom, patience, and spiritual discipline.

This essay examines what an Orthodox Christian wedding should look like, the roles of husband and wife, the challenges that arise in marriage, solutions grounded in biblical teachings, and the importance of cultivating a long-lasting, blessed union. By deeply understanding these principles, couples can build marriages that reflect the divine covenant.

Before examining the post-marriage issues, it is essential to first understand what an Orthodox Christian marriage should look like on the day of the marriage.

The Orthodox Christian Wedding Ceremony

The spiritual bride (ሙሽሪት) and groom (ሙሽራ) must stand firm in their decision. Relatives and friends, believing they know what is best, may cause confusion by suggesting alternatives—such as planning the wedding outside the Church, initially proposing a church ceremony with a choir, and later shifting to a secular celebration with secular attire and a music band.

However, the final decision rests with the bride and groom, as they are the ones entering the sacred bond of marriage. They must remain steadfast in their choice, prioritizing the Word of God over the worldly influences of family and friends. The wedding should focus on spiritual traditions and not become a source of confusion for others. To invite God's presence and preserve the sanctity of the marriage, the ceremony must be grounded in spiritual traditions. Holiness cannot be found in worldly music and dancing.

If the wedding and Holy Communion (ቅዱስ ቁርባን) are held on the same day, it is crucial to respect the sanctity of the Holy Communion. The body must be protected from the fatigue of sweat, and proper reverence should be shown for the Holy Communion. Turning the wedding into a secular event—by removing formal attire and engaging in secular music—distracts from the sacred nature of the ceremony. In general, the wedding should be celebrated with spiritual programs only, ensuring it remains a blessed occasion that honors God's presence.

While decorating, eating, and drinking are acceptable, these activities should remain within the boundaries set for Orthodox Christians on the wedding day. The key is to avoid worldly elements, such as music, dancing, and immodesty (የሰውነት አካልን የሚያሳይ አለባበስ), which shift the focus from the spiritual essence of the occasion.

In Ethiopian Orthodox Christianity, marriage cannot be valid without the Holy Communion. Some individuals may desire a church ceremony solely for photographs or videos, without participating in the Holy Communion. This approach is inappropriate and unacceptable. These individuals must first understand the true meaning of marriage and align their choices with the sacredness of the sacrament.

After the marriage, it is essential to understand key principles for fostering a successful marriage within the Orthodox Christian faith.

1. The Roles of  Husband and Wife in Marriage

a) The Role of the Husband

The husband is called to be the head of the family, providing spiritual and physical leadership:

" ክርስቶስ ደግሞ የቤተ ክርስቲያን ራስ እንደ ሆነ እርሱም አካሉን የሚያድን እንደ ሆነ ባል የሚስት ራስ ነውና።." (Ephesians 5:23)

His duties include:

·       Loving his wife as Christ loved the Church: “ባሎች ሆይ፥ ክርስቶስ ደግሞ ቤተ ክርስቲያንን እንደ ወደዳት ሚስቶቻችሁን ውደዱ” (Ephesians 5:25).

·       Providing and protecting the family: “ነገር ግን ለእርሱ ስለ ሆኑት ይልቁንም ስለ ቤተ ሰዎቹ የማያስብ ማንም ቢሆን፥ ሃይማኖትን የካደ ከማያምንም ሰው ይልቅ የሚከፋ ነው። “(1 Timothy 5:8).

·       Leading with wisdom and humility: “ባሎች ሆይ፥ ሚስቶቻችሁን ውደዱ መራራም አትሁኑባቸው”(Colossians 3:19).

·       Encouraging spiritual growth by leading prayers and guiding the family in faith. A godly husband builds a marriage based on love, respect, and responsibility.

b) The Role of the Wife

The wife is called to be a helper and partner to her husband: " ሚስቶች ሆይ፥ ለጌታ እንደምትገዙ ለባሎቻችሁ ተገዙ፤" (Ephesians 5:22)

Her duties include:

·       Supporting her husband in love and respect: “እንዲሁም፥ እናንተ ሚስቶች ሆይ፥ ከባሎቻችሁ አንዳንዱ ለትምህርት የማይታዘዙ ቢኖሩ፥ በፍርሃት ያለውን ንጹሑን ኑሮአችሁን እየተመለከቱ ያለ ትምህርት በሚስቶቻቸው ኑሮ እንዲገኙ ተገዙላቸው።… እንዲህ በቀድሞ ዘመን በእግዚአብሔር ተስፋ ያደረጉት ቅዱሳት ሴቶች ደግሞ ለባሎቻቸው ሲገዙ ተሸልመው ነበርና፤ እንዲሁም ሣራ ለአብርሃም፦ ጌታ ብላ እየጠራችው ታዘዘችለት፤ እናንተም ከሚያስደነግጥ ነገር አንዳች እንኳ ሳትፈሩ መልካም ብታደርጉ ልጆችዋ ናችሁ። (1 Peter 3:1-2, 5- 6).

·       Managing the household with wisdom and diligence: “ልባም ሴትን ማን ሊያገኛት ይችላል? ዋጋዋ ከቀይ ዕንቍ እጅግ ይበልጣል። የባልዋ ልብ ይታመንባታል፥ ምርኮም አይጐድልበትም። ዕድሜዋን ሙሉ መልካም ታደርግለታለች፥ ክፉም አታደርግም። (Proverbs 31:10-12).

·       Strengthening the marriage through patience and humility: “ቆነጃጅትም የእግዚአብሔር ቃል እንዳይሰደብ፥ ባሎቻቸውን የሚወዱ፥ ልጆቻቸውን የሚወዱ፥ ራሳቸውን የሚገዙ፥ ንጹሖች፥ በቤት የሚሠሩ፥ በጎዎች፥ ለባሎቻቸው የሚታዘዙ እንዲሆኑ ይምከሩአቸው።” (Titus 2:4-5).

·       Encouraging peace and unity in the family: “ብልሃተኛ ሴት ቤትዋን ትሠራለች፤ ሰነፍ ሴት ግን በእጅዋ ታፈርሰዋለች።” (Proverbs 14:1).

By fulfilling these roles, husbands and wives create a balanced and blessed union. Through mutual submission, love, and respect, the marriage relationship becomes a source of spiritual growth and joy.

2. Challenges in Marriage and How to Overcome Them

Every marriage faces difficulties, but faith, wisdom, and mutual commitment help to overcome them.

a) Financial Struggles

Money issues can create stress and conflict. The Scripture teaches: "እግዚአብሔርን ከመፍራት ጋር ያለ ጥቂት ነገር ሁከት ካለበት ከብዙ መዝገብ ይሻላል። የጐመን ወጥ በፍቅር መብላት የሰባ ፍሪዳን ጥል ባለበት ዘንድ ከመብላት ይሻላል።." (Proverbs 15:16-17)

Solution for Financial Struggles:

·       Budget wisely and avoid unnecessary debt.

·       Live within means and trust God’s provision: “ አምላኬም እንደ ባለ ጠግነቱ መጠን በክብር በክርስቶስ ኢየሱስ የሚያስፈልጋችሁን ሁሉ ይሞላባችኋል።” (Philippians 4:19).

·       Husbands and wives should communicate openly and frequently about finances to avoid misunderstandings.

b) Miscommunication and Conflicts

Disagreements are a natural part of marriage, but how they are handled makes all the difference: "የለዘበች መልስ ቍጣን ትመልሳለች፤ ሸካራ ቃል ግን ቍጣን ታስነሣለች።" (Proverbs 15:1)

Solution for miscommunication and conflicts:

·       Practice patience and listen before responding: “ስለዚህ፥ የተወደዳችሁ ወንድሞቼ ሆይ፥ ሰው ሁሉ ለመስማት የፈጠነ ለመናገርም የዘገየ ለቍጣም የዘገየ ይሁን፤” (James 1:19).

·       Apologize and forgive quickly: “እርስ በርሳችሁ ትዕግሥትን አድርጉ፥ ማንም በባልንጀራው ላይ የሚነቅፈው ነገር ካለው፥ ይቅር ተባባሉ፤ ክርስቶስ ይቅር እንዳላችሁ እናንተ ደግሞ እንዲሁ አድርጉ፤” (Colossians 3:13).

·       Both partners should strive to avoid harmful words: Understanding the impact of words on one another is vital. Seek wisdom from God to remain calm and speak kindly.

·       Never consider beating (መደብደብ) your spouse: "እንዲሁም ባሎች ደግሞ እንደ ገዛ ሥጋቸው አድርገው የገዛ ሚስቶቻቸውን ሊወዱአቸው ይገባቸዋል። የገዛ ሚስቱን የሚወድ ራሱን ይወዳል፤ ማንም የገዛ ሥጋውን የሚጠላ ከቶ የለምና" (Ephesians 5:28-29). This highlights that harming your spouse is harming yourself.

·       Also, never insult (መሳደብ) your spouse: "ለሚሰሙት ጸጋን ይሰጥ ዘንድ፥ እንደሚያስፈልግ ለማነጽ የሚጠቅም ማናቸውም በጎ ቃል እንጂ ክፉ ቃል ከአፋችሁ ከቶ አይውጣ።" (Ephesians 4:29). This verse teaches that only kind words should come from our mouths, avoiding harmful speech.

·       Seek guidiance from spiritual fathers: “እንደ ልቤም በግ ጠባቆችን እሰጣችኋለሁ፥ በእውቀትና በማስተዋልም ይጠብቁአችኋል።” (Jeremiah 3:15)

c) External Pressures (Family, Society, Friends)

Interference from outsiders can damage a marriage. It is crucial to remember the biblical teaching: “ስለዚህ ሰው አባቱንና እናቱን ይተዋል፥ በሚስቱም ይጣበቃል፤ ሁለቱም አንድ ሥጋ ይሆናሉ።” (Genesis 2:24). This verse reminds us that marriage is a sacred bond that must be protected from external influences. Couples should prioritize resolving their issues between themselves, rather than turning to family and friends too quickly.

Solution for External Pressures:

·       Establish healthy boundaries with extended family.

·       Prioritize unity, love, and understanding between husband and wife.

·       Seek guidance from the Church when conflicts arise, as spiritual advice can provide clarity and peace in challenging situations.

3. Sexual Relationship in Marriage: A Divine Gift

Sexual intimacy in marriage is a divine gift meant for both love and procreation. "መጋባት በሁሉ ዘንድ ክቡር መኝታውም ንጹሕ ይሁን፤" (Hebrews 13:4). This sacred union strengthens the emotional and spiritual bond between husband and wife.

a) Importance of Sexual Relationships

·       Strengthens the emotional and spiritual bond: Sexual intimacy strengthens the bond between spouses, as stated in Genesis 2:24, and is a divine gift for both.

·       Protects from temptation: “ነገር ግን ስለ ዝሙት ጠንቅ ለእያንዳንዱ ለራሱ ሚስት ትኑረው ለእያንዳንዲቱ ደግሞ ለራስዋ ባል ይኑራት። ባል ለሚስቱ የሚገባትን ያድርግላት፥ እንደዚሁም ደግሞ ሚስቲቱ ለባልዋ። ሚስት በገዛ ሥጋዋ ላይ ሥልጣን የላትም፥ ሥልጣን ለባልዋ ነው እንጂ፤ እንዲሁም ደግሞ ባል በገዛ ሥጋው ላይ ሥልጣን የለውም፥ ሥልጣን ለሚስቱ ነው እንጂ። ለጸሎት ትተጉ ዘንድ ተስማምታችሁ ለጊዜው ካልሆነ በቀር፥ እርስ በርሳችሁ አትከላከሉ፤ ራሳችሁን ስለ አለመግዛት ሰይጣን እንዳይፈታተናችሁ ደግሞ አብራችሁ ሁኑ።” (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). This passage highlights the importance of mutual understanding and sexual intimacy to protect from temptation.

·       Brings joy and fulfillment in marriage: “ምንጭህ ቡሩክ ይሁን፤ ከጕብዝናህም ሚስት ጋር ደስ ይበልህ…” (Proverbs 5:18-19). This verse speaks to the joy and fulfillment that sexual intimacy brings to a marriage.

b) Common Issues and Solutions to Sexual Relationships

1. Lack of Communication About Intimacy

·       Couples should discuss their needs with love, respect, and understanding, fostering a healthy and open relationship.

2. Temptations and Infidelity (unfaithfulness)

·       Avoid inappropriate relationship and remain faithful: The scripture states, “You shall not commit adultery / አታመንዝር” (Exodus 20:14).  Proverbs 6:32-33 also warns: “ከሴት ጋር የሚያመነዝር ግን አእምሮው የጐደለ ነው፤ እንዲሁም የሚያደርግ ነፍሱን ያጠፋል። ቍስልንና ውርደትን ያገኛል፥ ስድቡም አይደመሰስም።” Similarly, Mathiew 5: 28 states “እኔ ግን እላችኋለሁ፥ ወደ ሴት ያየ ሁሉ የተመኛትም ያን ጊዜ በልቡ ከእርስዋ ጋር አመንዝሮአል”

·       Adultery (ዝሙት) carries severe consequences. In the Old Testament, the penalty was death (Leviticus 20:10, Deuteronomy 22:22). Proverbs 6:29 further emphasizes, “ወደ ሰው ሚስት የሚገባም እንዲሁ ነው፤ የሚነካትም ሁሉ ሳይቀጣ አይቀርም።”

·       Consequences of indulging in sin, including adultery, are highlighted in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “ወይስ ዓመፀኞች የእግዚአብሔርን መንግሥት እንዳይወርሱ አታውቁምን? አትሳቱ፤ ሴሰኞች ቢሆን ወይም ጣዖትን የሚያመልኩ ወይም አመንዝሮች ወይም ቀላጮች ወይም ከወንድ ጋር ዝሙት የሚሠሩ ወይም ሌቦች ወይም ገንዘብን የሚመኙ ወይም ሰካሮች ወይም ተሳዳቢዎች ወይም ነጣቂዎች የእግዚአብሔርን መንግሥት አይወርሱም።”

·       Mark 7: 20-23 also explains that “እርሱም አለ፡— ከሰው የሚወጣው ሰውን የሚያረክስ ያ ነው። ከውስጥ ከሰው ልብ የሚወጣ ክፉ አሳብ፥ ዝሙት፥ መስረቅ፥ መግደል፥ ምንዝርነት፥ መጐምጀት፥ ክፋት፥ ተንኰል፥ መዳራት፥ ምቀኝነት፥ ስድብ፥ ትዕቢት፥ ስንፍና ናቸውና፤ ይህ ክፉው ሁሉ ከውስጥ ይወጣል ሰውን ያረክሰዋል።” This emphasizes that adultery, along with other sins, originates in the heart and leads to spiritual defilement.

3. Periods of Abstinence

The Church encourages abstinence from marital relations during fasting seasons and spiritual practices. The Bible offers guidance on abstaining from sexual relations for prayer and fasting. 1 Corinthians 7:5 states, “ለጸሎት ትተጉ ዘንድ ተስማምታችሁ ለጊዜው ካልሆነ በቀር፥ እርስ በርሳችሁ አትከላከሉ፤ ራሳችሁን ስለ አለመግዛት ሰይጣን እንዳይፈታተናችሁ ደግሞ አብራችሁ ሁኑ።” This verse emphasizes that married couples can abstain from marital relations temporarily for spiritual reasons. Both partners need to respectfully communicate and come to a mutual agreement before engaging in this practice.

Mutual respect and spiritual discipline help preserve harmony. A marriage built on love, faith, and purity is truly blessed.

4. Unwanted Behaviors That Harm Marriage

Certain behaviors can destroy trust and peace within marriage.

a) Drunkenness

Alcohol abuse leads to arguments and irresponsibility."የወይን ጠጅ ፌዘኛ ያደርጋል፥ ብርቱ መጠጥም ጠበኛ ያደርጋል፤ በዚህም የሳተ ሁሉ ጠቢብ አይደለም።." (Proverbs 20:1)

Avoid excessive drinking—quitting alcohol altogether is the best approach. If addiction becomes a struggle, seek both spiritual and professional support. For further insights on alcohol consumption, refer to this essay:  https://tewahedoperspective.blogspot.com/search/label/Alcohol%20Consumption%20in%20Orthodox%20Christian%20Ethics.

b) Gambling

Gambling can lead to financial ruin and addiction. "የታመነ ሰው እጅግ ይባረካል፤ ባለጠጋ ለመሆን የሚቸኵል ግን ሳይቀጣ አይቀርም።" (Proverbs 28:20)

Solution: Earn money through honest work. Avoid greed and trust in God’s provision: “ነገር ግን አስቀድማችሁ የእንግዚአብሔርን መንግሥት ጽድቁንም ፈልጉ፥ ይህም ሁሉ ይጨመርላችላችሁ።” (Matthew 6:33).

c) Improper Dress and Modesty (ልከኝነት)

Modesty reflects respect for oneself and one’s spouse. “እንዲሁም ደግሞ ሴቶች በሚገባ ልብስ ከእፍረትና ራሳቸውን ከመግዛት ጋር ሰውነታቸውን ይሸልሙ፤ እግዚአብሔርን እንፈራለን ለሚሉት ሴቶች እንደሚገባ፥ መልካም በማድረግ እንጂ በሽሩባና በወርቅ ወይም በዕንቍ ወይም ዋጋው እጅግ በከበረ ልብስ አይሸለሙ።” (1 Timothy 2:9)

Solution: Husbands and wives should dress decently. Avoid clothing that leads others into temptation (Matthew 5:28).

Marriage succeeds when both spouses respect and honor each other.

5. Helping Each Other for a Long-Lasting and Blessed Marriage

A successful marriage requires continuous effort and spiritual commitment.

a) Growing Spiritually Together

Pray together. Read the Bible, spiritual books, and articles, and attend church services together. Confess sins and receive Holy Communion regularly.

b) Supporting Each Other in Hard Times

 " ከእናንተ እያንዳንዱ የአንዱን ሸክም ይሸከም እንዲሁም የክርስቶስን ሕግ ፈጽሙ።." (Galatians 6:2)

Encourage and uplift each other. Work as a team in parenting and household duties. Stand together in sickness and trials.

c) Raising Children in Faith

" ልጅን በሚሄድበት መንገድ ምራው፥ በሸመገለም ጊዜ ከእርሱ ፈቀቅ አይልም።" (Proverbs 22:6)

Teach children Orthodox values. Set an example through love and discipline. Create a peaceful home centered on faith. Never insult (መሳደብ) your children; they will imitate your words and actions as they grow.

A marriage centered on God’s teachings, love, and respect will be blessed and long-lasting.

Conclusion

Marriage in the Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Christian tradition is more than a social institution; it is a divine calling, a sacrament through which spouses participate in God’s grace. By understanding and embracing their roles, facing challenges with faith, and nurturing their relationship through prayer and the sacraments, couples can build a strong and blessed union. In doing so, they not only strengthen their marriage but also reflect the profound mystery of Christ and His Church, fulfilling the true purpose of marriage in the Orthodox Tewahedo faith.