Family and Sexual Ethics

 

Part 5: Family and Sexual Ethics

Opening Reflection

The family is more than a social institution—it is a living icon of God’s love. Every act of care, patience, and forgiveness within the family mirrors Christ’s love for the Church. Let us consider: how can our relationships reflect holiness in daily life, and how can the moral choices we make at home shape our character before God?

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1. Marriage as a Sacrament

• Marriage is divinely designed, blessed in the Church, and meant to transform ordinary human love into a reflection of Christ’s love.

“ስለዚህ ሰው አባቱንና እናቱን ይተዋል ከሚስቱም ጋር ይተባበራል ሁለቱም አንድ ሥጋ ይሆናሉ። ይህ ምሥጢር ታላቅ ነው፥ እኔ ግን ይህን ስለ ክርስቶስና ስለ ቤተ ክርስቲያን እላለሁ።”(Ephesians 5:31–32).

• Think of marriage as a sacred school of virtue (የተቀደሰ የመልካም ስነ ምግባር ትምህርት ቤት) — a daily path where two hearts learn to grow in patience amid tension, to respond with humility when mistaken, and to remain steadfast (መጽናት) in love even in times of weakness. In this lifelong journey, husband and wife are not just companions but co-pilgrims (አብሮ ተጓዦች), being perfected together in Christ’s love — a love that turns every struggle into grace and every ordinary moment into holiness.

 

• St. John Chrysostom thought:

“Marriage is the school of virtue, teaching us patience, humility, and sacrificial love.”

• Reflection for Practice: How does a humble spouse act?

By listening with compassion (ርኅራኄ), forgiving with sincerity (ቅንነት), and serving with humility, a spouse becomes a living witness of Christ-like love for the Church in the daily life of marriage.

To learn more about Orthodox marriage, you can follow the link below to read a series of essays in four parts: https://tewahedoperspective.blogspot.com/search/label/Marriage%20%3A%20EOTC%20Perspective?updated-max=2025-02-04T13:09:00%2B03:00&max-results=20&start=3&by-date=false

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2. Chastity and Celibacy

• Chastity (ንጽሕና/ ቅድስና) is not about repression (ጭቆና)—it is the art of regulating our desires according to God’s plan, within or outside marriage.
• Celibacy (አለማግባት) is a calling for some, allowing undivided attention to God and service. For monks and nuns in particular, it enables them to devote themselves wholly to God and the life of prayer and ministry.

“ነገር ግን ያለ አሳብ ልትኖሩ እወዳለሁ። ያላገባው ጌታን እንዴት ደስ እንዲያሰኘው የጌታን ነገር ያስባል፤” (1 Corinthians 7:32–34).

• St. Basil the Great:

“Chastity is a virtue that sanctifies (መቀደስ) both the body and soul.”

• Real-life question: How can I protect my heart and mind from temptation (ፈተና) while living according to God’s plan for my life?

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3. Orthodox Teaching on Divorce and Remarriage

• Marriage is intended to be lifelong, yet the Church recognizes human weakness.
• There are a few instances where divorce may be permitted under the Church’s compassionate and discerning care, with repentance and healing as the goal, not punishment.

For further guidance, you can also visit this link, which is included in the link provided above:

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/preview/3129497605351975242/2319312275152751200

• Remarriage is guided by the Church, always aiming at healing and restoration.

“እርሱም፦ ሙሴስ ስለ ልባችሁ ጥንካሬ ሚስቶቻችሁን ትፈቱ ዘንድ ፈቀደላችሁ፤ ከጥንት ግን እንዲህ አልነበረም። እኔ ግን እላችኋለሁ፥ ያለ ዝሙት ምክንያት ሚስቱን ፈትቶ ሌላዪቱን የሚያገባ ሁሉ ያመነዝራል፥ የተፈታችውንም የሚያገባ ያመነዝራል አላቸው።” (Matthew 19:8–9).

This verse emphasizes that God’s original intention for marriage is lifelong unity. Divorce was allowed by Moses because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not as God’s will. Christ, however, restored the divine standard, teaching that breaking the marital bond except for sexual immorality leads to adultery.

• St. John Chrysostom teaches:

“God hates divorce, but He is merciful to repentant sinners.”

• Reflection for practice: How can I stay faithful to God’s commandments while being kind to those who struggle to keep His commandments?

4. Parenting and Christian Upbringing (ክርስቲያናዊ የልጆች አስተዳደግ)

• Parenting (ወላጅነት) is a sacred vocation (የተቀደሰ ሙያ), a daily opportunity to reflect God’s loving love.

“ልጅን በሚሄድበት መንገድ ምራው፥ በሸመገለም ጊዜ ከእርሱ ፈቀቅ አይልም።” (Proverbs 22:6).

• Children learn morality more from our action than from our words. Every act of kindness, forgiveness, and prayer shapes their soul.

• The family is a primary place where faith is learned and practiced—“the little Church.” Parents are the first teachers of the faith.

“አንተም አምላክህን እግዚአብሔርን በፍጹም ልብህ በፍጹምም ነፍስህ በፍጹምም ኃይልህ ውደድ። እኔም ዛሬ አንተን የማዝዘውን ይህን ቃል በልብህ ያዝ። ለልጆችህም አስተምረው፥ በቤትህም ስትቀመጥ፥ በመንገድም ስትሄድ፥ ስትተኛም፥ ስትነሣም ተጫወተው።” (Deuteronomy 6:5–9)

• St. Isaac the Syrian teaches:

“Train the child in the way of the Lord, that he may not depart from it in adulthood.”

• Practical question: Am I modeling the virtues I wish to see in my children?

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Conclusion

Orthodox family and sexual ethics are about holiness in action. Marriage, chastity, parenting, and fidelity (ታማኝነት) are not abstract rules—they are daily opportunities to live God’s love, form virtue, and shape souls in the image of Christ. The family becomes a school of holiness where divine love is taught, practiced, and experienced.

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Reflection Question

How can my daily choices in relationships, marriage, or parenting reflect Christ’s love and holiness? In what practical ways can I live chastity (ንጽሕና/ቅድስና), fidelity (ታማኝነት), and virtue in the midst of daily life challenges?

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ, who sanctified marriage at Cana and blessed the home of every believer, grant us purity of heart and steadfast love. Bless our families to be icons of Your divine love, filled with patience, forgiveness, and peace. Strengthen husbands, wives, and children to walk in holiness and unity. Keep us chaste in body and soul, faithful to Your commandments. Through the prayers of Your holy Mother and all the saints, Amen.

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